OMG. this song.
i got goosebumps when i actually listened to the words. and i might have cried a little bit.
seriously. it's called ixcatan by romantica.
listen to it. do it.
Ixcatan
A man was shot right through the hand
Yesterday in Ixcatan
Nobody knows why
They saw the shooter fly
Late-model Chevrolet
Through the dust of a dying day
The fear of God dripping from his hands
Like the blood that was dripping in Ixcatan
They held him up, down in Ixcatan
But the blood of a bull ain’t the blood of a man
One’s for love, the other for pain
But you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
Meanwhile on the mountain-side
A bull’s being killed for a Spanish bride
The men were in the river washing blood from their hands
The wedding’s gonna be in Ixcatan
The police here were looking for the crazy man
Put a bullet through a young man’s hand
They down at the river with their automatic guns
The groom was washing up in the evening sun
They held him up, down in Ixcatan
But the blood of a bull ain’t the blood of a man
One’s for love, the other for pain
But you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
They held him up, down in Ixcatan
But the blood of a bull ain’t the blood of a man
One’s for love, the other for pain
But you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
From the color of the stain
The color of the stain
No you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
The color of the stain
No you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
The color of the stain
You can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
The color of the stain
No you can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
The color of the stain
You can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
The color of the stain
You can’t tell that from the color of the stain
The color of the stain
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
inevitable
Ok. So I've been trying to avoid this for so long, but I can't anymore. Every now and then I will dabble in it but I just get frustrated and it's all secondary so I just leave it alone. And it's still true that it's secondary, but it affects so much of my walk with the Lord that I feel like it is important to at least try and figure out.
Of course I'm talking about the issues of predestination and freewill.
I guess that I should start by briefly telling you where I stand on each of the issues. In regards to predestination/election, I absolutely believe in it. As hard as it is to believe, you can't deny the fact that it's all over the Bible. And then in terms of freewill, thats where I would say that I'm mostly confused. I would say that the Lord is Sovereign and that there's nothing that we can do that is outside of his will, but then there could possibly be some choice within God's will.
One of the biggest struggles I have when I start really digging into this stuff is I become really fatalistic, kind of like I feel like we're all just "puppets on God's stage" or something. And if it takes me being a puppet on God's stage to spend eternity with him then I can accept that. I can accept having freewill and I can also accept not having it; that's not what I get so hung up on. It's the implications of accepting these worldviews that I don't know what to do about.
For example, prayer. If we have freewill, why do we pray? God's going to let us make the decision, people with this viewpoint would argue, so why do we even ask Him if it's up to us. And then, what if we don't have freewill (which is more where I tend to fall)? Then why do we pray? Because God's going to do what he's going to do whether we pray or not. I guess the big question here is, do our prayers really have an impact? Do they really mean anything in eternity, or they simply the chance for us to dialogue with God and to put us in our place with him? Can I really affect another person's state, whether spiritual physical emotional etc by praying for them or does praying for them simply function as a tool to make me love them more? (I hope that makes sense).
Ok, and then I was reading Romans 9 today (great stuff) but then I started doubting the way that the Lord loves us. Let me explain. Romans 9:17 says, "For the Scripture says to Pharoah: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' " Ok, so this is clearly the issue or predestination. Obviously, the Lord chose Pharoah here, not because of anything he was or had done, but simply because God knew that he could bring glory to himself through Pharoah. I love this and I think that it's so great. I think that so often we make election about ourselves and we praise God for choosing us above everyone else, acknowledging the fact that we have nothing to boast about because we were in no way chosen because of anything we had done, but it's still an issue of God chose to love some of us but not others of us solely because he needed some to love and some to show his wrath upon. But the verse above sounds like it is solely the people who God can use to best glorify himself through that are the chosen ones. I'm not opposed to this. I agree with the fact that God deserves all the glory he can get and he can choose to do that however he wishes. What does confuse me is looking at this verse this way makes it seem very impersonal and I don't see how it's love. I mean, sure we get to reap the benefits of being the elect and experiencing God's love, but God didn't choose us because he wanted to love us, he chose us because he wanted to glorify himself. So I guess I'm just confused because this view of God's love is so different from the way that I've always looked at God's love for us.
I dunno. Maybe I've completely led myself astray here. I would love other people's inputs. Surely, these are secondary issues, but the have great implications on my life so I really do want to try and make some progress in terms of figuring out where I stand on these issues. I would love to here any thoughts any of you might have. :)
Of course I'm talking about the issues of predestination and freewill.
I guess that I should start by briefly telling you where I stand on each of the issues. In regards to predestination/election, I absolutely believe in it. As hard as it is to believe, you can't deny the fact that it's all over the Bible. And then in terms of freewill, thats where I would say that I'm mostly confused. I would say that the Lord is Sovereign and that there's nothing that we can do that is outside of his will, but then there could possibly be some choice within God's will.
One of the biggest struggles I have when I start really digging into this stuff is I become really fatalistic, kind of like I feel like we're all just "puppets on God's stage" or something. And if it takes me being a puppet on God's stage to spend eternity with him then I can accept that. I can accept having freewill and I can also accept not having it; that's not what I get so hung up on. It's the implications of accepting these worldviews that I don't know what to do about.
For example, prayer. If we have freewill, why do we pray? God's going to let us make the decision, people with this viewpoint would argue, so why do we even ask Him if it's up to us. And then, what if we don't have freewill (which is more where I tend to fall)? Then why do we pray? Because God's going to do what he's going to do whether we pray or not. I guess the big question here is, do our prayers really have an impact? Do they really mean anything in eternity, or they simply the chance for us to dialogue with God and to put us in our place with him? Can I really affect another person's state, whether spiritual physical emotional etc by praying for them or does praying for them simply function as a tool to make me love them more? (I hope that makes sense).
Ok, and then I was reading Romans 9 today (great stuff) but then I started doubting the way that the Lord loves us. Let me explain. Romans 9:17 says, "For the Scripture says to Pharoah: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' " Ok, so this is clearly the issue or predestination. Obviously, the Lord chose Pharoah here, not because of anything he was or had done, but simply because God knew that he could bring glory to himself through Pharoah. I love this and I think that it's so great. I think that so often we make election about ourselves and we praise God for choosing us above everyone else, acknowledging the fact that we have nothing to boast about because we were in no way chosen because of anything we had done, but it's still an issue of God chose to love some of us but not others of us solely because he needed some to love and some to show his wrath upon. But the verse above sounds like it is solely the people who God can use to best glorify himself through that are the chosen ones. I'm not opposed to this. I agree with the fact that God deserves all the glory he can get and he can choose to do that however he wishes. What does confuse me is looking at this verse this way makes it seem very impersonal and I don't see how it's love. I mean, sure we get to reap the benefits of being the elect and experiencing God's love, but God didn't choose us because he wanted to love us, he chose us because he wanted to glorify himself. So I guess I'm just confused because this view of God's love is so different from the way that I've always looked at God's love for us.
I dunno. Maybe I've completely led myself astray here. I would love other people's inputs. Surely, these are secondary issues, but the have great implications on my life so I really do want to try and make some progress in terms of figuring out where I stand on these issues. I would love to here any thoughts any of you might have. :)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
i live 2 blocks from the ocean. just sayin'.
so, life has been so crazy since i got to project and i haven't had time to update people, which i feel bad about. but seriously everytime i had a moment when i was going to update my blog or send out an email the internet was not working.
but here i am now.
so, i got a job as one of the two project cooks. this means that the two of us cook dinner for about 120 people 5 nights a week, soon to be about 160 people once the quarter students get here. so that's a little bit crazy. but i get to work with mark wohlever... he's great and from miami and we're pretty much besties now. :)
also, i tried out for the worship band as many of you know. that was a huge step of obedience for me (as many of you know) because i'm terrified of singing in front of people, but that's what the Lord was calling me to. and i made it, so now i'm singing once a week in front of all of project which is pretty crazy but the peace of the Lord has totally been with me and i'm actually growing to love it surprisingly.
I've been really busy. I work 40 hours a week and prolly about 40% of that time i would say is spent grocery shopping (which is super hard and wears me out like no other.) so i work 9-5 and then we usually have some type of meeting from 7-10ish. then i usually hang out with people until about midnightish when i go to bed. so the days are busy but really great.
the people here are so awesome. i love all of them. everyone's always up for anything and people are just such great servants of each other. of course there have been a few run-ins but it's just so great to see people handle conflicts in a biblical way. i just feel like this environment is such a blessing and fosters great growth in all aspects of life.
i feel like i'm learning a lot; time with the Lord has been so good. but seriously, if i wrote about everything i was learning nobody would read this post because it would be too long and intimidating in length. so i'll save all that for another day.
but yeah, i just wanted to bring everyone up to date on what's going on with me up here in the OC. and that's that.
but here i am now.
so, i got a job as one of the two project cooks. this means that the two of us cook dinner for about 120 people 5 nights a week, soon to be about 160 people once the quarter students get here. so that's a little bit crazy. but i get to work with mark wohlever... he's great and from miami and we're pretty much besties now. :)
also, i tried out for the worship band as many of you know. that was a huge step of obedience for me (as many of you know) because i'm terrified of singing in front of people, but that's what the Lord was calling me to. and i made it, so now i'm singing once a week in front of all of project which is pretty crazy but the peace of the Lord has totally been with me and i'm actually growing to love it surprisingly.
I've been really busy. I work 40 hours a week and prolly about 40% of that time i would say is spent grocery shopping (which is super hard and wears me out like no other.) so i work 9-5 and then we usually have some type of meeting from 7-10ish. then i usually hang out with people until about midnightish when i go to bed. so the days are busy but really great.
the people here are so awesome. i love all of them. everyone's always up for anything and people are just such great servants of each other. of course there have been a few run-ins but it's just so great to see people handle conflicts in a biblical way. i just feel like this environment is such a blessing and fosters great growth in all aspects of life.
i feel like i'm learning a lot; time with the Lord has been so good. but seriously, if i wrote about everything i was learning nobody would read this post because it would be too long and intimidating in length. so i'll save all that for another day.
but yeah, i just wanted to bring everyone up to date on what's going on with me up here in the OC. and that's that.
Monday, May 25, 2009
riding in cars with boys: a reenactment of the popular film
yesterday i found a spider on the chair in our living room. it was fairly big, probably about the size of a nickel. i called sarah in to look at it and she went to get Brian to kill the (and I quote) "baby tarantula". That was a great moment.
so I leave in less than 24 hours to go to Ocean City for 12 weeks.
...
...
um WHAT?!?
...
i don't even know what to say. leaving has made me realize just how much the people in my life mean to me. knowing that i'll have to go without seeing my friends and family for 3 months, it makes it really hard to leave. but i eagerly anticipate my return (sorry, i watched pride and prejudice last night and last sentence could have totally been in that movie haha.) but other than leaving everyone behind, i am completely and fully ready to "go for God" this summer. (double entendre) i'm super excited for my car ride tomorrow (which has some great potential to be completely awkward, but for some reason i think that it will be fine.) 12 hours... me and two other boys whom i don't know the slightest bit and our "lightly packed" luggage for the next 12 weeks of our lives, and my car. should be fun.
oh, my address in ocean city is:
1301 Central Ave. (yup, moving from central to central :) )
c/o Cara Geraci
Ocean City, NJ 08226
I would love, and i mean LOVE, to hear from anyone who has time. also, i'm going to try to send out some email updates every now and then... if anyone wants to be added to the list of recipients, just let me know and i would be glad to add you.
but anyways, to all the people who are a part of my life, thank you for being a part of my life. you'll never know how much your friendship and love means to me. i don't get to tell you guys that as much as i wish i did. let's be friends when i get back. :) T minus 85 days... ;)
also. kiera knightly is absolutely beautiful. i always forget that.
so I leave in less than 24 hours to go to Ocean City for 12 weeks.
...
...
um WHAT?!?
...
i don't even know what to say. leaving has made me realize just how much the people in my life mean to me. knowing that i'll have to go without seeing my friends and family for 3 months, it makes it really hard to leave. but i eagerly anticipate my return (sorry, i watched pride and prejudice last night and last sentence could have totally been in that movie haha.) but other than leaving everyone behind, i am completely and fully ready to "go for God" this summer. (double entendre) i'm super excited for my car ride tomorrow (which has some great potential to be completely awkward, but for some reason i think that it will be fine.) 12 hours... me and two other boys whom i don't know the slightest bit and our "lightly packed" luggage for the next 12 weeks of our lives, and my car. should be fun.
oh, my address in ocean city is:
1301 Central Ave. (yup, moving from central to central :) )
c/o Cara Geraci
Ocean City, NJ 08226
I would love, and i mean LOVE, to hear from anyone who has time. also, i'm going to try to send out some email updates every now and then... if anyone wants to be added to the list of recipients, just let me know and i would be glad to add you.
but anyways, to all the people who are a part of my life, thank you for being a part of my life. you'll never know how much your friendship and love means to me. i don't get to tell you guys that as much as i wish i did. let's be friends when i get back. :) T minus 85 days... ;)
also. kiera knightly is absolutely beautiful. i always forget that.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
be ok
"just give me back my pieces,
just give me back my pieces,
just give me back my pieces
and let me hold my broken parts."
i found that line in a song today. struck me with a lot of truth.
just give me back my pieces,
just give me back my pieces
and let me hold my broken parts."
i found that line in a song today. struck me with a lot of truth.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
a filter.
i had a
dream.
my nurse was injecting me with
heroine.
it didn't affect
me.
the other day i was thinking about
whether it's
better
to do just work reallyhardfor
a
short
amount of time
or is it better to stretch the work out over time?
i know you don't care,
i just
can't
help it.
word vomit.
i think the Lord forgot
my favorite thing that happened today
was when
that song played
and it reminded me of
the
time
we were riding in the car together.
and you said that this was one of your favorite days in a long time.
i think he forgot.
do you think it's ok to be angry?
i was thinking about it today.
(i really shouldn't be saying this)
one time i fell on a cactus when i was playing
tag
with ryan
in the kitchen
in the house our dad built.
we had teal carpets.
myconviction is to share
my life with you. since then, i tell you
all about
little things.
tiny,
little things.
this is my favorite line of this song.
especially when the beat kicks in right here,
emph-a-sizing
that word like that.
i'm pretty sure he forgot to give me one.
dream.
my nurse was injecting me with
heroine.
it didn't affect
me.
the other day i was thinking about
whether it's
better
to do just work reallyhardfor
a
short
amount of time
or is it better to stretch the work out over time?
i know you don't care,
i just
can't
help it.
word vomit.
i think the Lord forgot
my favorite thing that happened today
was when
that song played
and it reminded me of
the
time
we were riding in the car together.
and you said that this was one of your favorite days in a long time.
i think he forgot.
do you think it's ok to be angry?
i was thinking about it today.
(i really shouldn't be saying this)
one time i fell on a cactus when i was playing
tag
with ryan
in the kitchen
in the house our dad built.
we had teal carpets.
myconviction is to share
my life with you. since then, i tell you
all about
little things.
tiny,
little things.
this is my favorite line of this song.
especially when the beat kicks in right here,
emph-a-sizing
that word like that.
i'm pretty sure he forgot to give me one.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
True Life: I Live at Central Perk
so Katie called me this morning to inform me that our basement at the Perk was flooded. so i drove up to ox and we cleaned out what we could from the basement. and then we went and got some jimmy johns for lunch. (it was the best jimmy johns slim 4 i've ever had i might add). and then we came back to the house and jenny and brittany and their parents came and help get their stuff out of the basement. I did like 3 loads of laundry because all of the clothes that i am taking with me on project i had laid out on the floor, so i had to wash all of those. but it was actually a surprisingly funny (in a way) day. here are some of my favorite moments:
"katie are you drinking that mike's hard lemonade?"
"Yeah."
"It's like noon!"
"Cara, I know. I was like, the house is flooding, I'm here alone, I can't get ahold of the landlord... I've got to start drinking."
upon seeing the giant dirt pile in front of the groundhog hold... katie: "cara, do you think the groundhog's renovating".. which then turned into a conversation about how the groundhog really just wanted to install a jacuzzi in his hole and how he tapped into our water line to start in and that was the whole cause of our basement flood.
leaving Dan (our landlord) a message: "MURRRRRRRR!"
leaving Dan another message: "MURRR Dan! Why?!?!?!?!!"
jenny: "My grandpa's dead and my shits floating around everywhere!"
also, got a call from my dad. apparently there was a big deal with the gas at his pizza store in beavercreek and they had to call the fire department and shut down the store for a couple days.
crazy stuff going down.
but anyways, so now I'm off tonight! and I'm excited because now I can go to Apex, which I wasn't going to be able to go earlier. But I can now thanks to random emergencies! :)
so that's just one day in the life of a central perkian.
"katie are you drinking that mike's hard lemonade?"
"Yeah."
"It's like noon!"
"Cara, I know. I was like, the house is flooding, I'm here alone, I can't get ahold of the landlord... I've got to start drinking."
upon seeing the giant dirt pile in front of the groundhog hold... katie: "cara, do you think the groundhog's renovating".. which then turned into a conversation about how the groundhog really just wanted to install a jacuzzi in his hole and how he tapped into our water line to start in and that was the whole cause of our basement flood.
leaving Dan (our landlord) a message: "MURRRRRRRR!"
leaving Dan another message: "MURRR Dan! Why?!?!?!?!!"
jenny: "My grandpa's dead and my shits floating around everywhere!"
also, got a call from my dad. apparently there was a big deal with the gas at his pizza store in beavercreek and they had to call the fire department and shut down the store for a couple days.
crazy stuff going down.
but anyways, so now I'm off tonight! and I'm excited because now I can go to Apex, which I wasn't going to be able to go earlier. But I can now thanks to random emergencies! :)
so that's just one day in the life of a central perkian.
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